Why I still go to Sea World after watching "Black Fish"

Dolphin at Sea World San Diego

A Little Background

I moved to California at the end of May 2013.  Since moving to Orange County I have visited Sea World in San Diego three times.  The first two times were before watching the documentary "Black Fish" and the third time after having watched this documentary.  I hope to continue visiting this park when I can.

My most recent visit was the end of June 2014.  After visiting several coworkers asked in typical fashion what I had done over the weekend.  When I told them I went to Sea World, a few hastily replied, "Have you seen Black Fish?"  I told them yes I had watched the film and I went to Sea World anyway.  One coworker was appalled and accused me of participating in animal abuse.  Another explained that he used to enjoy Sea World but after watching the film "Black Fish" he would never visit the park again and would defiantly never take his son there.  While another joked saying he had seen "Black Fish" as well and it made him very hungry. 

What I thought of "Black Fish" (Spoilers)

"Black Fish" is a documentary primarily about the way Sea World treats it's Killer Whales.  Here are a few main points I felt the film was trying to bring up:

1. Sea World cruelly stole baby whales from the ocean.
2. Keeping whales in captivity makes them aggressive and they have injured or killed quit a large number of their trainers.  I believe the film said about 70 some injuries or deaths total.
3. Sea World treats the whales cruelly by keeping them in small tanks, separating them from their family structures, and forcing them to perform tricks.

Point #1 The film showed a very emotional scene of a pod of whales desperately trying to escape from from hunters using boats and helicopters.  They show how intelligent the whales are because the mothers and calves separate from the main group to try to throw the hunters off course.  Their plan backfires and the hunters catch at least one calf.

I thought it was very sad to see the whales outsmarted by the hunters but not surprising considering the hunters had at least one helicopter helping in the chase.  I was surprised to see the hunters take the calf alive as I know there are plenty of hunters who are not nearly as merciful when it comes to whaling.  I would not hold this against Sea World because even the film indicated the whale was for for a small company that only had three whales in a small net enclosure in the ocean.  The film later says this whale, Tilikum, was purchased by Sea World later and given a bigger enclosure and treated better than before.  The first captive whales had to come from the ocean, how else would we acquire them?  While it was as to see the whale taken from the ocean it is nice to know they now bread their whales in captivity.

Point #2 The film claimed that keeping killer whales in captivity makes them more aggressive than killer whales in the wild. They showed many different scenes of trainers being injured or stories of trainers being killed.  They also make the point killer whales have never injured humans in the wild. 

Although it was sad to hear that trainers had been killed or injured it is not really that surprising.  People are injured or killed by all kinds of animals that are kept in captivity or are in the wild.  If you've ever owned or played with a cat you learn pretty fast that they can be quite rough and it's a good thing they are so small or you'd probably end up with your arm ripped off or worse.  I do not agree that keeping these whales in captivity makes them more aggressive.  They are aggressive by nature they are called KILLER whales after all.  The claim that killer whales have never hurt a human in the wild is a nice claim.  It may or may not be true, but even if it is true that doesn't mean they are not aggressive.  How many killer whales have you encountered in your daily life?   If you're like me you've only ever seen them at parks or zoos like Sea World.  Of course they haven't killed humans because they live in the ocean!  What about sharks we hear about sharks killing people don't we?  Well yes, we do because sharks often swim closer to the coastlines were people swim and surf, where as killer whales do not. (sometimes they do but only rarely in comparison to sharks) Also, a human is not much of a meal for a pod of Killer Whales making it even more unlikely for them to target humans in the wild.  

I also watched another documentary called "The Blue Planet a Natural History of the Oceans" this is a series of eight episodes and I forget which episode contained information about killer whales, but one of them did.  This series focus on the natural lives of wild animals in the ocean.  The episode showed a pod of killer whales doing what they do best, hunting.  They had come upon a blue whale, I believe it was, and her calf.  Blue whales, even the calves, are much larger than killer whales so the pod homed in on the calf and each took turns jumping on the baby to force it under water until it drowned.  It took the pod over an hour or more to kill the baby.  This reminded me right away of the the scene from "Black Fish" where one of the whales jumps on top of a person who is ridding on another whale causing injury to the person.  It was not an unusual aggressive act because of captivity, this was a normal act whales do in the wild to take down prey as was show clearly in the "The Blue Planet" series.

Point #3 The film showed a very emotional scene of a mother whale making vocalizations because the Sea World staff had taken her calf away to move it to another park.  The film claimed the whale was very upset and it was a terrible thing to do because in the wild whales and calves are never separated, they live out their lives together. They also claimed that Sea World takes whales from different pods in the ocean and mixes them all up so they can't even communicate with each other because they all speak different languages.  They also showed what a sad terrible life Tilikum (one of the main whales they focused on) now has because he lives in a small enclosure all by himself and only interacts with people when performing his tricks at the end of a show.

The film did a great job of making me feel sorry for the whale that lost her calf.  I was quite surprised that Sea World would take a whale away from it's mother as I had thought they would try to keep families together.  After doing a little research I found that Sea World claims the calf depicted in the film was actually twelve years old when they separated it form it's mother and they claim they've only ever separated two calves from their mothers.  The term "calf" is debatable and they may separate them once they are no longer considered "calves" I don't know.  However, even though I would like them to keep all of the calves with their mothers I don't think that is a reasonable thing to ask them to do because they would eventually run out of space and it makes more sense to spread their whales out so they can all be cared for properly.  Also, I do not think it is excessively cruel or unusual to separate a baby animal from it's mother.  In fact we as humans do it all the time!  Do you have a dog?  According to the US Pet Ownership Statistics 36.5% of households have a dog.  Puppies are separated from their mother as early as 7 weeks to around 12 weeks.  That is a lot earlier than 12 years.  We don't consider it cruel to separate puppies from their mother yet in the wild dogs/wolves are pack animals and live together in much the same way as whales.  We also separate many others animals from their mothers for our food such as cow, chickens, pigs, etc.  Most people do not consider this cruel either.  Also, in the wild plenty of whales lose their calves to predators, lack of food, etc.  In fact the orcas even are responsible for some other whales calves dying as the blue whale example I explained above.

As for the small enclosure argument, yes the tanks the whales are kept in are smaller than the ocean.  It is literally impossible to simulate their natural habit in captivity because to make an enclosure as big as the ocean is not possible.  If you agree and think that Sea World should just dump all it's captive whales back into the ocean you're basically sentencing them to death.  Whales that were born in captivity and are hand feed will likely not survive for very long in the ocean.  It's a nice thought to think they would know what to do, how to hunt, how to migrate, all on their own using instinct alone, but it's more likely they would not know what to do unless they managed to find a pod of wild whales that accepted them.  Keiko, the whale featured in the move "Free Willy," was actually released back into the wild, but failed to reintegrate with wild whales and seemed to actually seek out humans instead.  There is a petition online to boycott Sea World until they release their orcas.  I think this is very silly because if Sea World did decide to release their whales it would likely cost millions of dollars to rehabilitate them to give them the best chance at surviving in the ocean.  So boycotting them and giving them less money would not help the process.  Even if Sea World did not want to release their whales boycotting them is still not a good solution because they would have less money to maintain their enclosures, provide medical care, and food for their whales.  I too think the whale enclosures are a little small considering how large the whales are.  I also think it would be nice to see some toys in the tanks like they have for the dolphins.  Maybe they do have these at times, but they did not when I last visited.

As for forcing the whales to perform everyday.  I do not find this to be cruel in anyway.  Sea World trains their animals using the reward system.  They receive treats after doing their tricks.  This is a normal and acceptable way to train animals just watch any professional dog show, circus animal, or trained bird.  If anything the performing is good exercise and a way to keep the whales mentally stimulated.  

How I View Animals

The way I see animals in general is really the main reason I have no problem visiting Sea World after watching "Black Fish."

I love animals.  I take great joy in watching them, interacting with them, appreciating their unique and in interesting behaviors.  However, my love for them is not directed at them.  My love for them is directed to God because He created them and directs them.  The uniqueness of animals shows me a glimpse of creativity and beauty of God.

Discus at Sea World San Diego

I see animals as a one of the many gifts God has given humanity as stated in the Bible: (Genesis 1:26) "Then God said: "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and the cattle, and over all the wild animals and all the creatures that crawl on the ground."  I take this verse to mean that we should care for animals and not abuse them as they are gifts and we should treat our gifts well, but it is also alright to use them for what they are good for such as food, helping us work, living with us as companions, and our entertainment.

A person has the God given right to keep animals in captivity, and to breed animals for food so long as they are not threatening their very existence, or abusing them.  Now I use the term abuse to mean treating an animal in an excessively cruel way.  In our example of orcas, I would say it would be abusive to keep the whales if the trainers caused physical harm to the them in order to teach them to do tricks such as hitting them with any sort of barbed instrument that caused them bleed, or denying them food or medical attention, or allowing the water to become filthy and unsanitary.  However, I did not see any of these when I visited Sea World.  I saw trainers that used the reward system to teach them tricks, they seemed to receive plenty of food as they were not lethargic or skinny, and the water was pristine and clear.  This tells me that Sea World is doing a great job in being good stewards of their whales and they have every right to continue.

I believe animals lives are purely instinctual given to them by God for their continued survival.  Animals, do not have goals, ambitions, dreams.  Animals only have limited feelings purely for their continued survival such as a natural fear of predators.  Animals do not love in the way that we as humans love, this is not possible for them because they do not have free will.  Free will is the ability to choose to love or not love.  As humans we are blessed with free will because we are made in God's image.  Animals, however are not.  Animals behavior is dictated to them, this why animals can do no wrong and no good.  If an animal kills another animal we understand that animals kill to survive and it is not seen as bad thing.  If an animal kills a human we usually blame the human for doing something wrong because we know an animal can do no wrong.  If animals can do no wrong, they can't do good either.  What about the dog that saved it's owner from a burning building, or the cat that saved a boy from a dog?  While it may seem that animals sometimes do heroic acts of good this simply can not be true because animals have no sense of right and wrong.  An animal saving a human may instinctively recognize the human as necessary to it's own continued survival and thus save them, or it very well could be God working through the animal to save the person.  Unlike humans God or His angles can works through animals without their consent as they have no consent to give.  Humans must invite and allow God to work through them, because He gave them free will and respects their free will.  An example is of God using an animal is the story of Balaam and his donkey in the book of Numbers Chapter 22.

Common Thoughts About Animals

When I hear the claim that animals have the right to be free, and it is cruel to simply keep them in captivity because they would live a more happy fulfilling life if they were free.  I believe this mindset is based on people projecting their own desires onto animals.  People are generally not happy if they are in a small confided cell, we usually associate that with prison.  But I don't think animals, especially animals born in captivity, know any different.  When speaking about this topic with my coworkers one guy thought even captive born whales long for the ocean.  I do not think this is true because I don't think animals are capable of longing for anything except perhaps food and a mate and even then I think it's much different than the desire we as humans experience for certain things. 

It is very common to hear people describe their dog, saying how much their dog loves them or how their dog was pouting after being yelled at, etc.  As people we have emotions and we are unable to fully comprehend what it would be like to not have emotions.  So we project our emotions onto our pets in order to relate to them better.  But does a dog really pout?  Are pigs really lazy?  Are cats really curious?  These are human emotions and traits.  Technically a pig can not be lazy because laziness is a vice, you have to be capable of being productive to be capable of being lazy.  Pigs can not be productive, they do what they do which is lay in the mud and eat.  This is not laziness this is following their instinct to conserve energy and cover themselves in mud to avoid becoming sun burnt and to cool themselves as they do not sweat.  Dog can not love because love is a choice to put someones needs above your own.  However, dogs and all animals are created by the Divine Lover or Love itself, so dogs and other animals may have a reflection of God's love within them, but humans are the only physical beings that are truly capable of love because we are the only ones given the choice to love or not love.  If dogs and other animals have a glimmer of love within them, it's instinctual rather than a choice.  It should be noted that human love, though grater than animals, is still less than what real love is because only God is love in it's purest form.

Lastly some people consider it cruel to force an animal to perform.  They equate it to forcing a person do do something they don't want to do.  Forcing a person to do something is indeed wrong.  Training an animal to do a trick for food is not cruel and not wrong.  Nearly every kind of animal can be trained with food, even chickens, mice, and goldfish.  This is not cruel because an animal will not feel any sense of self consciousness or embarrassment for doing a trick.  They will also not feel a sense of accomplishment or pride for doing a trick.  Animals will do tricks for food or some other pleasure such as a good scratch behind the ears.  Animals do not realize they are performing.  They will do the same trick if there is only one person watching or an entire stadium of people watching.  The only time training animals is cruel or wrong is if they are trained with excessive pain.  I say excessive because horses are often trained with a whip, but it is only light flicks of a whip which are likely only a small annoyance to the horse.  Training an animal in such a way that causes injury would be cruel.

Sea World

What I enjoy most about Sea World is getting to see so many different animals up close that I wouldn't normally get to see.  Also, as someone who enjoys fish tanks they give me some great ideas for fish tanks I would like to have someday. 

Sea World San Diego's fish and aquatic animals are taken care of very well for the most part.  Their tanks are clean and they appear healthy.  Which is more than I can say for your average local PetsMart.  As someone who really enjoys fish I have spent a lot of time researching fish care and identify warning signs of illness.  At Sea World there was only a few tanks that had sick fish.  Fish keeping is not easy and if one fish becomes sick they rest can become sick very quickly because of the relatively closed environment.  It's important to identify and quarantine a potentially sick fish right away.  Sea World has thousands of fish and aquatic animals so I think they do an incredible job of keeping them healthy.  However, they need improvement with their penguins, polar bear, and walrus health and environments.  

I also really enjoy the Sea World shows. I think it is amazing to see what sea lions, otters, dolphins, and whales are capable of and even if I was observing these animals in the wild I would likely not see the interesting tricks humans can teach animals.  To me it is a joy to see humans working with animals and I don't see anything cruel about it at all.  It's creativity and hard work and it's beautiful to see.  I would defiantly visit again.

Faith from a Caterpillar

The other morning I was out on my usual morning walk.  As I was walking next to the canal on the cement walking trail that runs alongside it I happened to look down and spot a stranded caterpillar.  From his perspective he must have been lost in this barren wasteland.  The sun beat down upon him making the unending desert of cement unbearably hot to his tiny caterpillar feet.  He was next the curb between the path and the slope that lead down to the river.  As I watched he desperately tried to climb the 90 degree cement wall again and again only to fall off about half way up each time.  His movements were all frenzied and panicked as each time he fell he would run further down the path before trying the climb again.  Dirt and derbies clung to his fine fur coat indicating he had been at this for quite some time, as each time he fell more clumps of spiderwebs and lint got stuck in his hair.

I was just about to leave as I had grown tired of watching his feeble attempts and needed to return home, when I realized perhaps I could assist this tiny creature.  Hesitantly I reached my had toward him. Having lived in Louisiana for a time as a child I knew it was risky to touch a caterpillar as some varieties pack quite a sting in their bristles.  As I touched the edges of his fur I didn't feel any sting so I determined he was safe to assist. I guided him onto my hand and let him wriggle from hand to hand as he continued his mad attempt to climb the wall.  After a time he seemed to realize he was now in a new environment and calmed down as he discovered some sort of salt deposits or oil on my palms that he greedily tried to eat.  I allowed him to gnaw on my hand as I tired to find a good place to relocate him.  I spotted some bright green weeds down by the water and followed the path to the water's edge. On the way I attempted to pluck the dirt clumps out of his fur, but it was very difficult to do without pulling out his fur along with the dirt.  I managed to remove some of the bigger clumps but there were a lot of smaller ones I couldn't removed without the risk of injuring the poor little guy.  We arrived at weeds and I placed the tip of leaf right in front of his face encouraging him to stop trying to eat my hand, and climb onto the leaf instead.  He seemed to recognize the leaf right away and happily climbed onto and began devouring it as if he hadn't eaten in weeks.

I was quite pleased with the whole situation as I know that some caterpillars only eat certain kinds of plants and I had no idea what kind of plants this particular caterpillar ate.  I found it quite fortunate indeed that I had selected a plant that he actually ate. 

As I reflected upon this little event some interesting insights came to me about how God may view us.  As I watched this caterpillar, covered in dirt, struggle for his life I did not feel disdain toward him.  I did not wish to punish him for becoming dirty and failing to stay on whatever plant he had likely hatched upon, I desired to help him.  I didn't want to see him struggle any longer and only wished to provide him with what he needed which was food.  I thought perhaps this is similar to the way God sees us.  We must appear quite desperate in our attempts to live out our lives on our own without any assistance from God.  We become covered in dirt as we struggle and fall into sin again and again as we attempt to make the vertical climb to happiness all by ourselves.  When God looks at us and sees all the dirt (sin) within us, and watches our panicked, anxious, mad, attempts to escape from the spiritual desert we find ourselves in I don't think He looks as us with anger, or disdain, I think He looks at us with love and desires to help us.

I was unable to remove all of the clumps of dirt from the caterpillar's fur without pulling out his fur along with the dirt, but I was able to remove some of the larger pieces right away.  When we allow God to work in our souls and remove the sin from our lives it can be painful.  It can feel like we are losing a part of ourselves that we have grown accustomed to.  God does not want to hurt us so He may help us remove some sins right away once we surrender to Him, but other sins are intertwined in our souls and must be removed very carefully over time to prevent injury. 

The caterpillar became clam once he realized he was in my hand and not on the cement wall any more.  This reminds me of how we are called to rest in the Lord. (Matthew 11:28) "Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."  While God will not forcibly pick us up as I did to the caterpillar, He does invite us to come to Him and rest in Him.  We can gain strength, and peace for the journey ahead by taking time to rest in the Lord each day through prayer, or the Mass.

When I looked for a place to bring the caterpillar I did not throw him into a busy street, or put him into the water of the river, I wanted to bring him to a place I thought he would find what he needed to survive.  Likewise God always wants to lead us to what is better for us.  When we place our trust in God He does not bring us to a place that is harmful to us He wants the very best for us and desires to give us what we need.  Sometimes what is best for us is not easy, but it is our job to trust that His plans are for the safety of our souls, and that is why we should follow where ever He leads.

I treated this caterpillar with love because I put his need for food above my need to return home.  Love is when you put another persons needs above your own.  God did this best when He suffered and died as a sacrifice for my and your sins.  God put our need to be fully united to Him (only this will bring us complete happiness and satisfaction) above His own convince of remaining in Heaven perfectly in love as He is.  God doesn't need anything, His love is free gift to us, because He gives all to us and we are not even capable of giving anything back that he needs, because He has no needs.  When we praise God it helps us to know and trust Him more.  He does not need our praise or thanksgiving, but yet desires it because He loves us, and wants us to share in His love by coming to know Him.

We are small and weak on our own, but God desires us to become the beautiful person he created us to be.  We can only become that person by allowing God to help us.  Allow Him to help you today!

A few Pics from E3 2014

4 Signs of Spiritual Death

Mary and Jesus from the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception 

 

Some years ago I was living a life in a state known as Spiritually Dead. Of course did not know it at the time and it is only in retrospect that I am able to recognize the signs and symptoms of this death.  Growing up as cradle Catholic and the oldest of five children I had unknowingly adopted several falsehoods as truth.  Some of which lead me into this condition others which caused different problems which I may have to write about at a different time.

 

Falsehood #1

People have to Earn their way into Heaven 

As the oldest child I always had an incredibly strong desire to do the right thing.  I can remember a little orange good deed bracelet I received as a child with moveable beads you are supposed to move to count the good deeds you did throughout the day.  It was tool to teach children the concept of being good to others, but this tool and other such lessons cause me to grasp onto the idea that I had to good in order to obtain a reward, the reward being Heaven.  Even though this idea is false, it actually helped me later in life when I was Spiritually Dead because I still insisted on attending Mass every Sunday even though I was sinning in other ways I didn't want to miss Mass as I recognized that to be a grave sin and I still had the desire to make it into Heaven someday.

Truth: Jesus Died for all people's sins so that all would have the chance to get to Heaven because of His grace and mercy not because of anything we have done or not done. 

 

Our job is to say yes and receive the gift of His grace and mercy then prove our "yes" by loving God and others.  We show/prove this love by following God's commandments and by getting to know Him (aka praying) and trusting Him.  This is know as Faith and Works.

Falsehood #2

As long as you don't have sex you're fine (speaking to the unmarried)

As cradle Catholic I got the vast majority of my understanding of the faith from the once a week religious education classes I attended.  Unfortunately I don't have many fond memories of these classes.  I can remember being shamed in front of the class because I failed to make the sign of the cross the correct way and I can remember many seemingly countless talks revolving around the topic of "don't have sex." As an awkward insecure teenage girl all I would do is tune out a think about what a waste of time the class was because obviously no boy would ever even like me as I was far to ugly to have to worry about such things.  Plus I had already made up my mind a long time ago that if, by some remote unlikely chance, I ever did have a boyfriend I would tell him that we would not be having sex in our relationship unless we got married of course.

Several years later in collage I met my boyfriend.  My obedient side remembered my long ago pledge and with much nervousness and the almost 100% certainty that this would end the relationship I told him after only a week or so that we would not be having any sex and if he didn't like that he was free to leave.  Of course it was said with much less confidence than I'm writing here now!  To my amazement he said that was fine and he even expected that.  Months went by and as we grew closer our relationship did become more physical in fact very physical, but we did not have sex.  The problem was no one had ever told me there were other things couples could do besides having sex.  I was quite naive to this, but as I learned of it I began to suspect it was not something we should be doing outside of marriage.  By the time I realized the wrongness of our behavior we had formed some very destructive habits.  Our Lady of Fatima (An apparition of Mary to 3 young children in Fatima) said "More souls go to hell for sins of the flesh than for any other reason."  The falsehood I had grown up with was that the only sins of the flesh was having sex outside of marriage or having sex with someone other than your spouse once you were married.  I did not know there were other sins of the flesh such as pornography, masturbation, fondling, oral sex, etc. some of which I had fallen into.  I say fallen into because it feels much like I feel into them, but the problem is once I realized it was wrong I still continued the wrong behavior. Why? Because these sins are highly addictive and can seem right, even loving, when in truth they are wrong. 

St. Kilian's Catholic Church

Sign of Spiritual Death #1

Rationalization

The first Sign of Spiritual Death is Rationalization.   This is like big red Stop sign that happens before your soul actually dies.  (note: your soul is eternal and can not actually die what I mean by spiritual death is when your soul is cut off from God who is Life.) Rationalization generally follows guilt.  In general people do not like the feeling of guilt, but guilt is like an alarm in your soul telling you you've just opened a door that you should not open.  Often when we ignore this alarm and continue through the door and down the hall beyond, we begin rationalizing. 

For me when I was heading down the path to Spiritual Death I would say things to myself such as "well at least I didn't do that" thinking of something worse than what I had just done.  Then, when next time rolled around and I did the thing I had previously said at least I didn't do... I would say again, "well at least I didn't do that." Because we can always think of something worse than the sins we are currently committing.  But each time we rationalize we are taking a step in the wrong direction. 

Any time we feel a temptation to rationalize our actions and compare them to others whom we consider to be doing worse things when we are we should stop, turn around, and compare ourselves to Jesus and Mary.  If we look at what's bad we will walk toward it.  If we look at what's good we will toward that.  If you're rationalizing any behavior in your life it's a warning alerting you to the fact that you need to make some kind of change in your life.  This can be very difficult to accept, but I'll get into what to do a little later.

Sign of Spiritual Death #2

Intense Self Loathing (fear of being alone)

We are made for God.  To love and be loved by God.  When we offend God by our sins we can become disgusted with ourselves. 

Growing up I always had self esteem problems, but during the time in my life when I was living in Spiritual Death I felt more hate for myself than I ever have.  I had a great desire to escape from myself a feeling as though I was trapped and death looked like an escape, a way to be free from this strange suffocating feeling.  It was very unclear to me as to why I felt this way and it was worse when I was alone, because then I would have time to think.  Of course when I would think I would begin to think about what I had done wrong and I would rationalize my actions again, or I would begin tearing myself down from the inside out saying I deserved to feel this way. 

Self hate is not natural.  We were not created to hate ourselves and it is a lie to think that we are unlovable.  Evey person is lovable.
  

Sign of Spiritual Death #3

Avoiding what is Holy

John 3:20-21 "And indeed, everybody who does wrong hates the light and avoids it, to prevent his actions from being shown up; but whoever does the truth comes out into the light, so that what he is doing may plainly appear as done in God."

When I was Spiritually Dead things of God became the enemy.  The Church became a place of rules and regulations that only wanted to make life hard for me.  Confession became a frighting thing for sinners much worse of then myself and it should be avoided.  People that were very kind or very happy became weirdos who obviously had some kind of problem and were only pretending to be kind and welcoming because nobody really acts that way right?

If religious people or genuinely happy people seem repulsive or fake to us, it's a clear sign that we are living in darkness.

The Church and her Sacraments including Confession are where God heals us and strengthens us.  If the Church seems like something to be avoided it's a clear sign you've been deceived by yourself and or the devil.

Sign of Spiritual Death #4

Inability to Comprehend God 

The thing that has impacted me the most when it comes to understanding that Spiritual Death (aka being cut off from God) is real is the insight I gained about a real inability to comprehend God.

When I was living a life of Spiritual Death I continued to attend Mass every week because I still had the desire to follow the rules and hopefully earn my way into Heave even though I was not living a good life.  During this time the Mass was a place of sorrow and confusion for me.  I would often return from Mass either in tears or upset that nothing they said there made any sense.  

There were about three or four different priests at the Church I attended and you never knew which one would be there on any given Sunday.  I remember one priest in particular I despised because he never spoke clearly when he gave his homilies.  He always used big complicated words just showing off how smart he was instead of actually trying to help people and use language everyone could understand.  Years latter, after I had been freed from Spiritual Death and was living in the state of grace once more, I was sitting at Mass one Sunday and this same priest, whom I had despised, was presiding.  As he finished the homily I realized I was smiling and nodding and agreeing with everything he said. Then it dawned on me, this priest had not changed.  The way he spoke, the words he used, the way he explained things had not changed.  This priest had likely been preaching the same way ever since he first became a priest.  He had not changed, I had changed.  I once had criticized his preaching and teaching as if he had a problem, now I was nodding and agreeing and quite enjoying what he had to say.  Spiritual Death had literally caused me to be unable to comprehend words about God.  

This realization was huge for me.  I had heard it said that sin cuts us off from God, but what does that mean?  I now understood that sin literally causes us to be unable to know God.  Our minds can not perceive Him.  It's like trying to explain the complexities of Trigonometry to a newborn baby.  The baby can not even comprehend words at this point so explaining trigonometry to him would be a waste of time.  Someone deep in sin and Spiritually Dead can not comprehend the realities of God or the soul because these things can only be comprehended when God Himself makes them known to us.  If we are cut off from God then we will not allow God to reveal Himself to us.  If it sounds like a a bunch of gibberish when someone speaks of God that is a good sign you may be living in Spiritual Death, assuming the person really isn't speaking gibberish of course ha ha!

The Truth Shall Set You Free

I've written a lot about how to tell if you're Spiritual Dead because when I was Spirituality Dead I did not know it.  If any or all of the four signs above are present in your live there is hope! 

They tell alcoholics in Alcoholics Anonymous the first step to being freed from their addiction is admitting there is a problem.  That they are powerless over alcohol and their lives have become unmanageable.  Believe it or not, becoming drunk is a sin, and this method of admitting you are powerless over this sin and there is a problem works for all the other sins too. 

When I was trying to overcome my addiction to sexual type impurity I tired it on my own.  I told myself well I just have to be tough I have to strong I can resist as long as I try hard enough.  WRONG!  We can not break free from the bonds of sin ourselves.  It is impossible.  You may say to yourself impossible for you maybe, but I can do it.  I have much more determination and will power than you!  This my friends is a lie.  Once we become a slave to sin we can not break free on our own.  The only way we can be made free is by allowing God to free us!  Remember He died so that He could do just that, free us from our sins.

I remember one night. I had tried everything I could think of.  I had tried being tough, having my own strong self discipline.  I had even tried going to Confession.  Nothing had worked.  I still continued to fall into sin.   On this night I prayed to God and I said, "I give up.  I obviously can not free myself from this sin."  I said, "If You don't want me to do this sin anymore Lord, You will have to help me stop."  This was genuine heartfelt cry for help kind of prayer as I had lost hope of being free from this sin and even though it pained me to continue I could not stop it.  God did it.  God removed the desire for this sin from my heart.  When I went to Confession again I got to confess this sin for the last time.  Was all temptation gone?  No, but God gave me the strength overcome it because He can overcome sin when we can't.  I can not say that I became free of sin on my own or boost that I overcame it somehow, because I did not.  I had to admit that I could not do it, then allow God to overcome it for me.  That is how it works.  To be free we must admit how small and unable we are to free ourselves then allow God to free us.

Once we allow God to free us from these big mortal sins that bind us, steal our joy, cause us to hate ourselves and others, we can start walking toward God.  Keep your eyes on God not on others.  If you allow Him to God will reveal many other smaller way in which you can improve your life and become more pleasing to Him.  This is not about earning your way into Heaven this is about loving God by striving to please Him.  It is good to remember how small we are in comparison to God and to remember that any good thing we manage to do is only because we actually allowed God to work through us.  Just as a husband and wife become one flesh in the marital embrace we should strive to become one with God by allowing Him to dwell within us and work through us.  That is love.  That is the goal.  Living a life of Spiritual Life is much more rewarding than living a life of Spiritual Death.  Remember though that Spiritual Life comes from God without Him we will walk toward death rather than life.

From the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception

Life After Death

Once the Lord helped me return to Spiritual Life my life changed for the better. Some of the key points being:

Confession

I no longer have to rationalize, if I find myself rationalizing something I can now recognize it as a bad sign and stop destructive behaviors before they become ingrained.  This is primary achieved by going to Confession once a month.  Confession is a priority.  Even if I do not feel like I need to go or I can only think of one or two sins, I still go.  Confession is a wellspring of grace where the Lord cleanses my soul and helps me remain close to God.

Self love

I now recognize that God loves me.  If God loves me it is insulting to God to speak badly about myself.  I strive to avoid speaking badly about myself and I'm also tying to learn to stop speaking  badly about others, which is currently a work in progress for me.

Loving what is Holy

I have found that I now greatly enjoy Mass.  When I attend Mass, especially on Sundays when there is all the music and all the readings and it's like a huge celebration, I will sometimes find myself in tears of joy rather than sorrow.  The Mass is the one of the greatest gifts God has given us.  I love it when the Mass is particularly beautiful to me and even if it's not I still believe it's good to go because it's spending an hour with the Lord who has given us so much the least we can do in return go to Mass on Sunday to be with Him and receive Him.  I still go to Mass every Sunday out of obedience to God.  Now, however, Mass is not a place of sorrow and confusion, but a place of knowledge, grace, and love.

Knowing God

Life is all about getting to know God.  Getting to know Him takes our whole lifetime and I imagine we will continue to get to know Him for all eternity.  Now that I try to live in the state of grace. (not conscious of any mortal sins)  I have grown so much in knowledge and understand of what the faith teaches about how to live, and love.  Before I never cared to know why I believed what I believed, but after learning there is a why to everything the Catholic Church teaches I have found is it much easier to believe.  Knowing God starts in different ways such as being drawn to the Love of God, or the Justice of God, or the Beauty of God. I was drawn in by love from my youth, was saved by God's mercy when in sin, and grew to love God more with knowledge of His plan for humanity and His Church. 

I still have a long way to go, but I am thankful for God for how far He has brought me, and I'm sure He can do the same for you too!

The Reptile Zoo

WI recently visited The Reptile Zoo located in Fountain Valley, CA. It seems the zoo used to simply be a pet store known as Prehistoric Pets.  Now the store has expanded into a mini reptile and some amphibian zoo and they seem to be looking to expand even more.  They have a very wide variety of reptiles, amphibians, and some other animals including tarantulas and I even spotted a pair of ducks!  The still have a pet store too so if you fall in love with reptiles you can certainly take one home too! 

This little guy had crazy big eyes!

Old wise one

The Eye of Sauron in real life!

Pair of wandering ducks.  I hope they weren't snake food!

You looken at me?

What a chill dude!

I enjoyed this little zoo as there was quite a lot of animals to see and I very much enjoy reptiles.  I would like more people to support this zoo by visiting because I really think they could use the funds as many of the enclosures were rather small some of the animals seemed over crowded.  Although they did seem to take fairly good care of their animals there was defiantly some room for improvement.  If they could get some extra space I think it would really help them out.

It does look like a great place to bring children because many of the enclosers were very low to the ground, perfect for little ones.  They also had a petting area where many children were petting snakes and chameleons and other such animals.  

The $5 admission is well worth the price and a great little day trip for the family. 

Check out their website for more info: http://www.thereptilezoo.com/