How to overcome Depression and Self-hate

I am not an expert, but I struggled with depression and self-hate for many years in the past.  I recently came across a forum post about depression.  This person was suffering, considering suicide and reaching out to the internet for support.  Many others admitted to feeling the same way as the original poster and did their best to offer helpful suggestions.  But as the ancient story goes "Can one blind person guide anther?  Surely both will fall into a pit." Those who are currently struggling with depression and self-hate themselves do not give the best advice.  The following suggestions are based on my own experience with overcoming self-hate and depression.

Suggestion #1 - Watch what you eat

No, I'm not talking about food!

The world tries its best to drag you down.  If you're struggling with self-hate, I'm betting the phrase "watch what you eat," immediately conjured up thoughts about all things you don't like about your body.  Society tries to make us focus on the wrong thing so we'll be too distracted to think about the things that actually matter.  By getting people to obsess about their appearance, they can be sure to make a profit selling makeup, diet pills, overpriced 'health' foods, etc.  

Here is what I mean by "Watch what you eat," and I hope this will be the idea that comes to mind when you hear that phrase from now on.  Watch what your mind, heart, and soul are consuming!  Our mind, heart, and soul are fed by the music we listen to, the tv shows and movies we watch, the social media sites we visit, and more.  What are you feeding your innermost being with?  One of the most life changing things I did was to stop listening to popular music!  I have found that I am very sensitive to messages about life and how I feel about myself when that message is accompanied by music.  Changing the music I listen too was the first thing that helped me to start breaking free from the chains of depression.  It wasn't easy!  I decided to try to listen to a Christian radio station called Air1.  You can find a station or listen online here.  When I first started to listen to this station, I thought the music was awful.  The beats didn't seem as catchy as the popular music stations I was used to and the songs seemed quite drab to me.  However, I wanted to give it an honest shot so I forced myself to listen to this station anytime I was driving.  It wasn't long before I had learned some of the songs and was singing along.  Once the songs became more familiar to me I enjoyed them more.  Eventually, I enjoyed them so much I began enthusiastically telling others about the great new music I had discovered!  Now I have been listening to this station for many years and I know nearly every song, except brand new ones, of course, and I will not go back to traditional 'popular' music.  Sure there are a few 'popular' songs I hear every now and then that I like, but when I do happen to hear a 'popular' station while out shopping or riding in someone else's car, I find that many of the songs drag me down and speak death rather than life into me.  My heart and soul are filled with so much encouragement, love, and peace when listening to Christian radio that the sad tales told through 'popular' music no longer satisfies me.  

Now I know some people don't hear the lyrics, their mind just filters all that out and they only hear the beat.  If that's you I suggest listening to music with no words at all, that way you can be sure that there is no subliminal messaging dragging you down.

Other people are not into music at all, but you're probably into something, video games, movies, tv shows, books, social sites, etc.  Whatever it is, do your best to guard your heart, mind, and soul by watching things that will help lift you up rather than drag you down.  I know this is easier said than done and it is still a big struggle for me too.

Suggestion #2 - Seek the root 

In my experience depression and self-hate are symptoms of some kind of misunderstanding or damage done in the past, not the actual problem themselves.  That means focusing on the depression/self-hate is not going to solve the problem.  The root of the problem must be found.  It may be one problem or a whole bunch of problems, but until the actual roots are destroyed the symptoms will live on.  For example, after several years and many emotional discussions with my boyfriend, he was able to help me discover the root of my depression was the fact that I believed being happy was a bad thing.  This was not something I remembered right away and it took a long time for me to recall this bad seed that was planted in my mind as a child.  Once this root was found I saw it for the lie it was and it no longer held me captive.  I was free to be happy.  I realize that may be a mild example, but it was devastating for me. For years I lived dragging myself down, calling myself all kinds of nasty names, anytime I felt I had been happy for too long.  This was a habit and I couldn't recall where it came from or how it started until I was questioned about it so intently that I was forced to look back and back into my past and discovered where this behavior originated.  You may need to seek some counseling if you don't have a trusted non-judgemental friend who can help with this. 

Suggestion #3 - Prayer

The Creator of the Universe, Jesus Christ, fully understands the pain one feels due to depression and self-loathing.  When I realized this fact, I realized I was not alone.  One of the worst things about depression is the thought that nobody understands how you feel and that you're alone, trapped in the confines of your own mind.  Well, thanks be to God that is not true!  I was in a great pit of despair one day, at the end of my rope, and didn't know where to turn for help.  In desperation, I went to the local Church.  As I sat there the story of Jesus' agony before He was arrested to be crucified came to mind.  I remembered how He was so upset He was sweating blood.  That's when Jesus revealed to me that He understood my pain because He had experienced it Himself.  This knowledge was a huge game changer for me.  To have someone understand me, meant the world to me.  That's why I highly encourage you not to run from Jesus when you feel depressed, but to run to him!  He is not going to condemn you, He wants to comfort and console you. He wants to heal your broken heart no matter what you have done.  He understands it all and He truly wants to help you.  You don't have to say anything, or you can simply admit you don't know what to do and ask Him to save you from yourself and your depression.  

Finally

If you can do these three things, avoid things that drag you down spiritually and emotionally, really discover what the cause of your feelings are, and surrender it to Jesus, you can be free of depression.  You can begin to live as a prince or a princess in Christ. You can begin to love yourself because you are loved by God.  Don't give up, realize you are probably not strong enough to overcome this yourself you need God's power and strength to lift you up.  Support from friends and family is helpful, but if you don't have those don't worry, God's strength is enough.  Just admit simply, "Jesus I can not do this, please help me." then be open to His help.  For anyone reading this who is in a tough place right now, I pray that you will be healed of your afflictions and may shine brightly as beautiful person you are.  In Jesus name, Amen.