Everything Happens for a Reason - The Story of a Car

 The Raspberry

A long time ago in the year 2002.  I was in need of a car so that I could find a job.  I had graduated from High School that year and I did not wish to go to college so I would need to find a job instead.  My dad had retired from the military which enabled us to visit a used car lot on a military base.  They had all manner of affordable cars, but they were so packed into the lot it was not even possible to test drive them.  Being girl of 18 I had no interest in Make or Model, all I cared about was what color the car was.  Being also a strong believer in God even as a teenager I had asked God to help me find a suitable car. There were two I liked.  A purple Dodge Neon and a purple, but more pink Chevy Caviler.  I like the Neon's color more, but the Caviler was more comfortable.  It didn't take long to decide and the 1996 Caviler was mine for $3000.  Raspberry was the official color in the paperwork.   The poor thing had to be jump started and driven straight to the mechanic to get her up and running.

For nearly 2 years that car drove me to and from work 40 miles one way 5 days a week.  Through freezing ice storms and all kinds of mid-western weather, the most trouble I had was a slight fishtail one night on the icy highway.  After having had my fill of tornado ally, I was off to the desert to attend college and made the trek from Kansas to Arizona.  For 8 years the little raspberry endured the never ending sun.  The sun paid it toll causing the paint to begin to blister off.  The blazing heat and crippling passage of time caused many other trips to the mechanic.  The alternator died in a Taco Bell drive through so we pushed it down the street in the middle of the night to nearest mechanic.  One day arriving home from work I noticed the tire was quite low so I drove it right over to the discount tires which I happened to live directly behind.  Then after returning home from an erred one day I returned home stopping at the front office to pay my rent, and upon returning found the car no longer started!  Never once did she die in traffic however,  she always seemed to die in a safe location in which I could arrange to have her taken care of even if it seemed like quite the inconvenience at the time.

That car had such a good time in Arizona, showing up as a prop in my college music video,  used as a bus to squeeze in more students than seats on occasion, and of course providing transportation for endless adventures.

In 2012 it was time for a break from the Arizona sun and it made the trek to Montana where it sat resting in the snow on the side of the road for 9 months just sleeping away, as I carted my youth ministry team around in the giant van we called The Gladiator.

The Raspberry was no worse for wear after being neglected in the snow for so long, and happily took me through the Nevada wasteland full of aggressive dirt devils and tumble weeds nearly the size of that little car, all the way to southern California. For nearly a year the old Raspberry braved the California freeways.  The old country car was 18 years old now and had seen much of the world.

In April 2014 I prayed for safety driving home from work as I always tried today and jumped onto the freeway cruising home at 65 in the slow lane.  I saw headlights in my side mirror and continued singing away as I waited for them to pass on by.  But, they didn't pass by, I heard a loud bang on the left side of the car and felt the car begin the slide.  I thought to myself very clearly, "I'm in an accident."  I didn't know what to do, I was on a section of the freeway that had 5 or 6 lanes and was always congested.  I closed my eyes and began to pray, "please protect me Jesus." I imagined my self going off the freeway and hitting a tree, I feel the car spinning and simply waited for it to stop.  Finally it did stop as I slammed into something and the air bag hit my face.  Slowly I opened my eyes to get my bearings.  The car was dark and full of dust from the air bag,  I rolled down the windows, I didn't feel hurt, I wasn't bleeding.  I looked around to find myself facing the cement median in the car pool lane!  I found the emergency lights and switched them on and called 911.  The woman on the phone advised me not to get out of the car and to wait for the police.  She asked me if I wanted an ambulance but I didn't know if I needed one.  After that she hung up leaving me as cars raced around me some honking as if I was an inconvenience to them.  I knew I was at great risk of being hit again sitting facing the wall like that in the carpool lane.  I turning on the interior light to try to make the car more visible.  It felt like I waited there forever.  I tried to pray the rosary, but I couldn't remember the prayers quite right.  I considered getting out of the car even though the women on the phone had warned me not to.  I called 911 again after waiting for quite some time hoping the person on the other end could give me some comfort as I could very well die if I was hit again.  No such luck, the this woman said the same thing, but I did say yes to the ambulance this time.  I didn't see any other cars stopped so I figured it was a hit and run.

Finally after I don't even know how long two police cars arrived driving across all the lanes in zigzags to stop the traffic.  I had never been so happy to see the police in my life.  They had me walk across the freeway as they tried to get my car started, with no luck. They took me to the next exit where a double long semi truck was parked.  That's what hit me!  The driver did not even see or feel my little car he claimed on the police report, but he admitted fault.  I sat in the back of the police car as I waited for my boyfriend to show up to give me a ride home.  The ambulance never arrived.

The car of course was totaled.  She was too old to be repaired and worth too little.

The Mysterious Miracle 

It is a miracle I that I was almost completely uninjured, aside from some seat belt burns, a sore face from air bag, and my left pinky finger was very sore for about a month, but not broken.

The two police officers who were both very kind, said they were amazed that I was not hit again. They said they expected that I would be.  They had served people in accidents for many years on those freeways and knew this from experience.  They said I was lucky because I and the truck driver were going "slow."  I driving 65 which is the speed limit on that freeway.  I don't consider that to be slow, but when I tell others the stories they all agree that it is. 

I very much wonder what the truck driver saw.  He said he did not even feel his truck hit me, and yet he stopped and claimed guilt for the incident.

I do not know how the other cars didn't hit me as I spun across all of the lanes of traffic or while I was sitting in the car pool lane.  I would like to see a replay of this someday because I'm certain Angels or Saints or both prevented me from colliding with any other cars.

When I was hit I had cruise control on and when I stopped against the cement wall, my foot was on the gas.  When I think back on this incident I sometimes think maybe if I had not closed my eyes and had tried to stop the spin by turning the wheel in the opposite direction as they teach you to do when learning to drive, maybe I would not have crashed and only had the small dent in the left passenger door.  But then I think no... what I did was surrender completely to Jesus in that moment.  He could have taken my life, but He spared it.  I do not know why.  All I know is the lack of injury after being hit by a double long semi can not be good luck or a mere coincidence.  It was not my time to go, which is all I really know.

Shiny    

 

I spent a full year saving up money for a new car.  After going into much debt from student loans, I am against taking out loans unless there is truly no other option.  I have a friend at work who I would sit with at lunch from time to time and tell her about my plans to buy a car and such.  Recently she decided it was time to move nearer to her family in Australia.  She sold me her car, Shiny.  The car is a 2009 Toyota Corolla.  When I was researching cars I decided I wanted a 2008 Toyota Camey or Corolla.  Yes, I prayed for this car as well and God delivered.  He not only helped me but I'm sure he helped my friend too because I no doubt gave her more for the car than a dealership would have.  It is quite amazing to me that I was able to save up just enough money for this car at the right time, and it was fitting the specifications I wanted, even better in fact!

The Reason

I do not know the reason why I had to lose my old faithful car.  But then gain an even better one.  I don't know what I have learned spiritually from this experience.  However, I have no doubt that God is using all of this to help me in some way that will likely be a mystery to me during this life time.  I could tell you that I know exactly why this happened and try to make up some spiritual benefits I have received, but the truth is, "God's ways are not our ways," and thus I take comfort knowing that God saved me from death that night for a reason, so my job is not done here yet.  I only hope that I will live up to his expectations. 

Orange County Zoo

When considering zoos in California the first zoo that most likely pops to mind is the San Diego Zoo.  While San Diego's Zoo is quite impressive, there are several smaller zoos throughout California that are quite enjoyable to visit as well, especially for those on a tight budget.

I recently visited the Orange County Zoo. (http://ocparks.com/zoo/)  It is located in the middle of a very nice park that features many picnic areas, paddle boats, hiking, a railroad, a pony ride, plenty of ducks to feed, and an all around outdoor country feel. 

North American Coots

Mallards

Egyptian Goose (thank you je.rodriguez1121 for this info)

There was a small parking fee to get into the park (I think it was five dollars when I went) and only two dollars a person to get into the zoo!  This zoo was unique because it featured animals that are native to California.  Because they were native animals they were much more active than most animals I've seen at other zoos. 

The animals I found particularly enjoyable to watch were:

•  The Racoons, who were wide awake and very active despite it being daytime.  They were making these really cute sounds and climbing all over everything.
• The Coti, because I don't think I've ever seen these at other zoos so I was quite surprised to see something new.  Plus these guys are super cute.  See the picture below.

Coti

•  The Coyotes were actually highly entertaining because a woman happened to be walking her Shih tzu past their fence while I was viewing them.  One of them got up, ears laid back, and walked right up to fence then stalked that dog until he was out of sight!  The Shih tzu was complete oblivious to the whole thing which I thought was quite funny.  He would have been a quick meal had it not been for the fence.  (No offense to dog owners, I just thought it was amusing the way domesticated dogs have lost a sense of danger around wild animals.)

Coyote

•  I also enjoyed the Porcupines they had two different varieties there.
• The Ocelots were very active as well.
• Even their snakes were quite active which is very uncommon.
• My favorite animals at this zoo were the Mountain Lions.  They had three mountain lions.  One female was very old, 16 years, and as expected was sleeping.  However, they had a pair of 5 year olds, a brother and sister, who were extremely playful and enjoyable to watch.  Since I visited around Thanksgiving time they had given them some small pumpkins to play with and they were batting those pumpkins all around their enclosure and they had quite a difficult time trying to pick them up and carry them around.  I love seeing active big cats at zoos and these two put on quite a show.  They were quite beautiful.    

Mountain Lions

The other nice thing about this zoo is they have a lot of informative presentations throughout the zoo and feeding times posted on some enclosures.  The staff was very friendly and enjoyed answering questions.

I got to pet a little hedgehog, which is not native to California, but was confiscated due to illegal pet trade and given a home at this zoo.

The zoo is rather small, but it's makes a great day get away trip, and when combined with the activities in the park there is plenty to do.  Overall I would highly recommend visiting this zoo.

 Weasel

Mother of God of Priests

Back in 2011 I had recently read The Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalaski.  She is known for the image of Divine Mercy.  Which is a painting of Jesus based on a vision she had of him.

 
The image of Divine Mercy is one of my favorite religious images.  Saint Faustina's visions were not limited to this one vision however. 

Another vision she had was of Mary and the child Jesus.  I looked for a representation of this vision, but was unable to find one.  So I decided to make my own.  It has taken me until last night 12/21/14 to actually finish my attempt at drawing this vision.  Not because it took that long to draw it, but because I procrastinated that long!  Yikes I know!  It only took me about 3 and half days of working on it to actually finish it.  Now my drawing is not nearly as good as the famous Divine Mercy image, but I'll share it with you anyway.

First though here is the description from St. Faustina's Diary in which she describes this vision:

"A vision of the Mother of God.  In the midst of a great brilliance, I saw the Mother of God clothed in a white gown, girt about with a golden cincture; and there were tiny stars, also of gold, over the whole garment, and chevron-shaped sleeves lined with gold.  Her cloak was sky-blue, lightly thrown over the shoulders.  A transparent veil was delicately drawn over her head, while her flowing hair was set off beautifully by a golden crown which terminated in little crosses.  On Her left arm  She held the Child Jesus.  A Blessed Mother of this type I had not seen.  Then She looked at me kindly and said: I am the Mother of God of Priests.  At that She lowered Jesus from Her arm to the ground, raised Her right hand heavenward and said: O God, bless Poland, bless priests.  Then She addressed me once again: Tell the priests what you have seen.  I resolved at first opportunity [I would have] of seeing Father [Andrasz] I would tell; but I myself can make nothing of this vision.

Mother of God of Priests

I am not a great artist, so if you would like to make your own rendition of this vision I would love to see it.  Or if you like mine feel free to copy it as I believe it meant to be shared.  If you want to buy a nice framed version you can buy one HERE.

What is the Point of it All?

When I was teenager I often wondered, why am I here?  What is the point of life?  What will I become?  What should I do with my life?  These kinds of soul searching questions were aggravated by teachers, and counselors who made us teens do tests in school to discover our career paths or which Colleges we should consider.  As early as 8th grade I remember doing such career oriented tests, as if finding the perfect job would give me a purpose and help me fulfill my entire life's mission.  "You don't want to end up as garbage collector," one teacher told me, "you need to go to College so that doesn't happen."

For many years I agonized over this topic.  Because I was raised Catholic I also desired to do God's will and asked Him many times in prayer, "God, what do you want me to do?" or "What purpose did you create me for?"  In fact I still ask this of God occasionally, because I forget His answer.  Last night, as a 30 year old, I asked God these questions again, as if He would have a new answer for me.  Of course God never changes and His answer to me remained the same.  But, I'm getting ahead of myself now, let me explain the first time God reveled to me, "the meaning of life" or the point and purpose for our whole existence here as the human race.

Since the time I moved away from my parents home to attend College, my life had turned into a downward spiral.  I made mistakes in College by making poor moral choices as many College students do, and I had found myself in pit of self loathing, depression, and suicidal thoughts.  On one particularly bad day, in which I collapsed on the floor of my apartment in a fit of self hate, I remembered the religion of my youth and I decided to go to the Church to see if I could find any help there.  Once I arrived at the Church I made my way to the Adoration Chapel and just sat before the Lord.  I didn't have any agenda or goals or even hopes really because I was empty, I came before the Lord as if I was nothing, because that is how I felt about myself, that I was nothing, with no purpose, no goals, no plans, and no point for living.  That is when the Lord loved me.  My guard was down, and I just sat open to God and allowed Him to do His work and He did!  God allowed me to feel His love, I believe it was only the tiniest bit of His love that I felt because any more would overwhelm me, but it was awesome, in the truest sense of the word!  Well once I felt the love of God I was hooked, and went back to that Adoration Chapel many times.  A few times I felt the love of God again, but never as strong as the that first time, because God was slowly teaching me to love Him back.  God normally remains hidden from us and our senses because He doesn't want us to love the way we feel when He loves us, He wants us to love HIM!  It was only because I was in such an absolute low point in my life that He chose to allow me to feel His love as a way to draw me back to Him.

During one of these visits to the Adoration Chapel, I pleaded with God, asking Him why He created me and more importantly what did he want me to DO?  I had asked this many times before as a teenager, but had never received an answer.  This time I did receive an answer, as the thoughts of my coworkers and friends came into my mind and I realized Jesus told us the answer long ago, the answer is LOVE! My life's mission and the point of my life and lives of everyone on the planet it to learn to LOVE.  To learn to love God and to learn to love people.  That's it.  It's that simple.  But, oh how I don't want to believe that, it just doesn't make sense to me, how can the whole point of my life be summed up in one word?  My teachers and mentors told me I had to find my purpose in life that was unique to me, the reason I was created, and it could be found based on my talents and my knowledge.  But that is so complex and it lead to all kinds of endless searching and I never really know if I actually find my purpose or not. God tells me to Love, and if I can learn to do that I will be fulfilling the reason I was created. 

On occasion I forget that the point of my existence is to love and I ask God again, "what do you want me to do?"  The answer never changes.  In fact I asked God this question just last night because I thought maybe now, that I'm 30 years old, the answer may have changed.  After asking, I was reading the Bible, not looking for anything in particular, and guess what I happened to read? (Matt 22:37-40) He said to him, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments." The Lord reminded me again, this time using the Bible to communicate to me. 

How to Love God

So since the whole point of life is to learn to love God and love other people, how do we do that?  Well, it just so happens God also told us how to do just that.

Obey the 10 Commandments

Jesus says one of the ways to love Him is to keep His commandments.  (John 14:15) "If you love me, you will keep my commandments."  We know He is talking about the 10 Commandments given to Moses because he also says, (Matt 5:17) "Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets.  I have come not to abolish but to fulfill."  The lists of the 10 Commandments can be found in the Bible.  (Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5) Here is another list using today's terminology for what kinds of sins should be avoided in order to love God, all of which fall under the 10 Commandment's categories. (Sins List)

Take up Your Cross and Follow Jesus

The second way to love God is to take up your cross and follow Jesus. (Matt 16:24)

"Take up your cross" means to bear your burdens patiently and unite them to the Jesus' cross.  For example if you have some kind of sickness or injury do your best not to complain about it, but pray asking God that the suffering you are enduing will be united to His suffering and used to help save souls.  Or if you have some kind of an addiction, you should ask the Lord for the strength to fight against temptations to give in to the addiction and allow Him to remove it from you when it's time.  People today do not generally have to take up a physical cross like Jesus, but everyone has other kinds of spiritual, emotional, or physical crosses.  It could be a person at work who annoys you, a fear, or a habitual sin.  Once we deal with one cross another one will likely take it's place.  Don't allow these crosses to overcome us, but love God despite these crosses.

"Follow me" means do your best to follow where the Lord is leading you.  That means putting your own will last and God's will first.  We know that part of God's will is to keep the commandments as above, so even if it is easier or more convenient to tell a "little white lie" don't choose what you want, choose what God wants and don't lie, even if it's the more difficult option.  Following Jesus often means being aware of God's will in the moment.  Don't be focused on regrets from the past or worries for the future, but live in the present.  When you see a piece of trash on the floor, pick it up for God.  When you see a stranger at the store, and you feel a prompting to talk to them or smile at them, do it!  Try to choose the most loving action in each moment.

Trust God

Trust God, this is third and final way I'm going to talk about how to love God.  There are certainly more way to love God, but these three are a good starting point.

Trusting God means truly seeing him as your Father.  Even if you do not have a loving father here on Earth, you do have a loving father in Heaven.  God the Father is the best most perfect father.  Since His is The Father we must think of ourselves as His children no matter how old we are.  We are very small and weak compared to Him and nothing we have truly belongs to us but belongs to our Father.  Just as human children are dependent on their parents for everything, food, clothes, shelter, we as adults are dependent on God for everything.  You may say to yourself, I worked hard for my home, my food, and all that I have I did it by myself!  That is not actually true, you were given a body that is capable of working, you were given a mind that is capable of learning, you were given oxygen to continue breathing so you could continue working.  We are, in fact, totally dependent on God's gifts to simply exist.  So trust in God.  If you are in need of something, ask God.  If you have received something, thank God.  If you must make decision, ask God for His help first, then make the decision.  Trusting God is making an effort to include Him in your life and trust in His love and mercy for you. 

How to Love Others as Yourself

Love Yourself

Before you can love others you have to love yourself.  For many years I struggled with this concept.  I didn't think it was important or necessary to love myself.  I even thought it was dangerous to love myself because it was prideful.  So I preferred to hate myself and try to love others.  Loving yourself does not mean thinking you are better than anyone else.  Loving yourself is accepting the reality that you are a unique creation of God.  You were made on purpose and not by any accident regardless of what your parents may tell you about your conception.  The truth is, human are not capable to creating another person on their own.  There are three "ingredients" needed to make a new person, egg, sperm, and soul.  There is no life without the soul, which comes directly from God.  So this means God purposefully created you out of the overflow of His love.  In order to love yourself you must try to see yourself from God's perspective, as a person uniquely created in this particular time in order to love Him and the others here with you.  

The thing is we are actually unable to love on our own.  God is LOVE so all love comes from Him.  To love ourselves we must allow God to love us.  That means we should not say evil things about ourselves.  We should not call ourselves ugly, or dumb, or worthless.  To do so is to reject God's love and insult His creation.  Instead we should call ourselves, beautiful unique creations of God, or priceless, or full of God's wisdom.  If we feel lacking in some area or other we should ask God about it.  We should pray, increase my knowledge, or increase my faith, or help me to see myself the way you see me.  As long as the request will help you become the person God created you to be He will help you.  He helps slowly though usually, so we don't become overwhelmed by a sudden change.  The more humble we become in remembering that God is above us, the more He can give us.  He doesn't give us good things if we are full of pride (by thinking we can do things without God's help or that we are better than others) or hate because that would harm us instead of help us. 

Love Others

Once you have learned to love yourself you can begin to learn to love others.  You can not do this beforehand.  The reason is because God's love flows from God and is received by you and when you are full of God's love is starts gushing out of you and onto all the people around you.  If you don't love yourself first then God's love flows to you but is not received by you so you are unable to love others.  God's love never stop flowing to you though, so at any time you can receive it. 

When we love other people we are really allowing God to love them through us.  So we should not become prideful saying "See how many people I love!" rather we should give all the glory to God and recognize that any person we managed to love is because God's love poured out of us onto them.  

We love people by serving them.  In the Bible Jesus teaches his Apostles how to serve each other by washing their feet and says, (John 13:15) "I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do."  This means we should not be afraid or think of ourselves too highly, but be willing to stoop low and serve each other even in the most menial of tasks.  This could be helping someone who is sick, or tending the wounds of a child, or listening to someone's problems without interruption or complaint.  Loving others is putting their needs above our needs.

Loving others is also another way to love God as Jesus explains in (Matt 25:31-46) "....Amen I say to you whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me..."  This chapter in the Bible also gives us several other practical ways to love others, which are called the spiritual and corporal works of mercy.

What is the Point of it All?

Love.  Love is the answer.  Love takes work though, and a lifetime and even an eternity to fully understand.  See (1 Corinthians 13:4-13) for more about what love is.  Then remember when you're wondering what is the meaning of life? Love.

Seeing Others with God's Glasses

Last night I had a dream that I got a new job.  In the dream I went to work a few days and was getting everything organized and learning the ropes.  Everything seemed to be going well.  Then I took one day off.  When I came back I found my workspace in disarray.  Everything on my desk had fallen over or off the desk, there were boxes and even discarded luggage on the floor all around my work area.  I set to work trying to tidy the area but realized this was not what I came to work to do, I needed to do the job I was hired for.

Coworker 1
At that point a woman came into the room.  It was a woman I know from my job in real life who is very kind an helpful HR person at my real life job.  In the dream she was a secretary of sorts and I sensed she was the person you talk to if you need help.  She brought several other people with her a to help her move the baggage and boxes lying around to another room.  I tried to ask her for help explaining that it was going to be difficult for me to do my job when I come back from one day off and everything is in disarray.  When I finished explaining the situation she looked at me and said, "Oh yea? Well I have my own problems," and she went off into a some long winded explanation about some difficulty she was having. 

Coworker 2
At this point I took off walking around the office pushing my chair.  I'm not sure why actually, maybe I was looking for additional help or just trying to get my bearings in the new office.  I observed all the different people with their different roles within this company.  I saw all kinds of people from high school kids in school uniforms, to a group of nuns.  As I was passing by new people interviewing for a position at the office I was amused to see they needed to demonstrate their roller skating abilities as part of the interview process.  As I passed by a group of these interviewees I heard them speaking as if they did not like this company and would try to just get by with the minimum if they were hired.  I thought to myself I would not hire them with that kind of an attitude.  At some point a girl began walking beside me at a feverish pace.  She was quite troubled and began trying to explain the troubles she had working here.  She didn't really have anything specific to say, but only spoke in generalities with an overall negative attitude.  Before I could even think of how to respond to her she was gone.

Coworker 3
Now it was time for a office meeting.  Everyone gathered together for a meeting.  I don't remember what it was about, but after the meeting I walked up to the front to ask the person in charge a question.  There were many other people crowded around this lady who had been doing the talking. I tried to make my way to her, but she began talking to a man in a loud voice that was clearly meant to be heard by all around her, and she and the man were reciting some sort of rehearsed conversation that seemed to be part of the meeting we had just attended.  I got the impression that this woman was very false and it would be difficult to tell if she was even speaking the truth because she seemed to be prepared with false positive language meant to motivate others into action.  I gave up my attempt to speak with her.

Coworker 2... again
Now I had grown rather discouraged.  I wasn't sure how I would manage to do my job.  There was no one to train, or help me and I had a developed a rather negative outlook on the company due to the interactions with others I had met up to this point.  I sat down on some sort of resting bench cushion thing.  As I sat there the negative girl who had spoken to me earlier came and sat beside me.  Once again she went off in a frenzy of words that I can not recall and was gone as fast as she came.

Coworker 4
A boy came and sat beside me next.  He seemed to be a teenager or very early twenties.  Rather than sitting calmly he cringed and writhed unable to sit still twisting into awkward positions.  Anxiously and with much anguish he explained that he had so much work to do he didn't know how he would ever get it done in time.  He said that he had finished just one task and when he looked again at the list of tasks he needed to do he had seven new ones in the time it took to finish just one.  He was in so much agony over this I tried to calm him by resting my hand on him to comfort him, but he jerked away in a panic spouting out something about how he wouldn't hurt anyone and he was gentle, saying it over and over like an attempt to convince himself.  He literally twisted and fell off the bench at this point writhing away from me as I tired to explain all he needed to do was focus on his most important task first and when that one was finished start on the next one.  He was lurking off and I called after him again in a finally attempt that he might hear me, "Just focus on the most important task first!"

Coworker 5
Next a teen girl came and sat beside me. She had a bubbly personality and as she was attempting to start a conversation with me when a teen boy came up behind her.  As she tried to speak, the boy kept dodging from left to right behind her in an attempt to grab her attention and make her laugh.  The girl became very distracted, flirting playful with the boy, and no longer attempted to speak to me.  It was as if I was not there.

At this point I woke up.  I woke with with the thought in my mind that this is a tiny glimpse into the way God feels when we bring Him our problems and difficulties in pray, but we don't stay long enough to listen for an answer or to receive love and grace from Him to help us with our struggles.

Coworker 1 - had so many problems of her own she could not listen to God's plans and desires he had for her.

Coworker 2 - had a negative attitude and restless anxious demeanor and could not stay in God's presence long enough to even begin to receive any assistance.  She never gave Him the chance.

Coworker 3 - was too busy and had her own agenda that was so deeply ingrained she never allowed herself to enter into God's presence.

Coworker 4 - was filled with anxiety, guilt, and despair, and seemed revolted by God's presence and would not allow Him to comfort him or give him advice.

Coworker 5 - attempted to talk to God, but was easily distracted by the world and soon forgot God was present. 

Now in the dream I was myself, that is to say, I had my body, but I did not react to the people in the dream the way I would in real life.  It wasn't until I woke that my first thought maybe God was trying to give me a glimpse of how He sees people.  So lets imagine it was like I was wearing God glasses, kind of seeing it though His perspective.

Coworker 1 - I did not feel any anger or resentment toward her despite her inability to listen to me I only felt as if I would get no where talking to her so I should leave and wait and perhaps try again later.  (I do not think God ever leaves us, but the waiting part I think is important.  Perhaps God waits on us to be ready to listen to what He has to say.)

Coworker 2 - I felt like this girl was in such a frenzy I had no opportunity to speak to her or get to know her.  Almost as soon as she arrived she was gone again.

Coworker 3 - I sensed this woman was very false like she was living a made up life where she acts happy and in-control, but it is not really true.  However, I felt like there was nothing I could do for her because she was too busy living the false life she had created.

Coworker 4 - I was not disgusted by this boy's behavior.  I felt pity for him and wanted to comfort him, and help him.   As he was ranting that he wouldn't hurt anybody, I remember thinking that of course he wouldn't hurt anyone, why would he even think this, this poor boy could not hurt fly.  He was like a helpless child in need of much love and care, but unwilling to accept it because of the way he saw himself and his situation.

Coworker 5 - I did not attempt to regain this girl's attention when she became distracted by the boy behind her.  It was as if I was waiting very patiently for her to realize and remember I was there.  I was not angry, or even annoyed, I just waiting thinking surly she would stop being distracted soon and remember I was there.

This dream gave me insight into how I act toward God, and also how I see other people.  Who will you be this day?  Will you be like one of these 5 Coworkers? Or will take time to listen to what God has to say and receive the comfort and blessing He wants to give you in this day?